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Whoa, Nelly!

Isn't this something? Apple has just posted details on its iPad battery replacement service, which is really not a battery replacement service at all.

Check out the company's opening line:

There's nothing like a faux quilted battery cover to get the blood pumping, so if you've been unable to sleep since laying eyes on those magnificent Diva phones from Samsung last week as you've desperately sought high and low for more information, trust us, we feel you.